BE: Love Doesn't Fly Off the Handle

"Thank you for leaving that out, for me to put away...grrrr....again! I mean, seriously, it isn't enough that I clean the whole house, do all the cooking, laundry, everything...and  no one can even pick up their bowls and put them in the sink??" This is what is going on inside my head at any hour of the day...I am embarrassed to admit. And truthfully, I don't "do it all", my husband is a huge help, he does all the vacuuming, mowing and the general fixing anything that needs to be figured out because I don't have the patience to figure it out! And, if I am really getting truthful with myself, my kids are pretty big helps as well. Yesterday, Israel fed and watered the dog, washed the dishes (that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher),  and then helped me put together a table I attempted to build on my own! 


Listening to the radio one day, I heard a line that rocked my world, "God lures us into marriage by our sexual desire, then He (God) uses that marriage to reshape  us."  I always realized marriage was designed by God, etc. etc...but, it never hit me that God uses marriage to work IN me, to make me more like Him. That is such an awesome thought! It made me begin to take the target off my spouses back and begin to realize....this is about me growing up. This is about me learning how to handle stress. This is about me learning to take my burdens, hurts to God and then, if necessary, to be able to share them with my spouse in a God-honoring way. That sounds pretty challenging doesn't it?

Hannah Moore writes, "We are apt to mistake our vocation by looking out of the way for occasions to exercise rare and great virtues, and by stepping over the ordinary ones that lie directly in the road before us."

I think one of the hardest things is to respond in love. When we feel taken for granted, when we feel stepped on, that's when we bark & bite. You may be married to the most wonderful man on earth, but he will still hurt your feelings. He's a man - his primary thought isn't feelings (and women's primary thoughts ARE!). And, not to let us girls off the hook, we degrade his manhood, we're selfish, and many times over emotional. How's that for a "match made in heaven"?? So, we need to realize that we need to filter everything, all our thoughts about what our spouse does, all my reactions to what they do, through the filter of God's purest description of love. Please click on the link below and re-read this passage, it will only take a minute, in the Message translation the message becomes so REAL. 


I Corinthians 13 in the Message Bible translation



And love, please don't resign this to, oh, yes, love...she is encouraging us to love. I'm not talking about the feeling of love - I'm talking about the action of love. The action is what is done even when maybe the feeling is gone. It would be the action of Christ on the cross - it was all love. Every response He made on the cross, amazingly, was of love. Forgive them, care for my mother, etc.... And then I look at myself and think of the words in I Cor 13, Love doesn't fly off the handle. Am I seriously flying off the handle over such silly stuff like spilling food on the couch, not getting out of the house quick enough, having to go to the bathroom as soon as we leave the house. I honestly didn't realize I was impatient, until I had children. I honestly didn't think I had a short fuse, until I had kids. God is trying to work so much OUT of me, so that His grace is evident IN me.

An unexamined life, is a life not worth living

Questions to ask yourself:

1. God, what are you trying to do in ME through this marriage? 
2. What are you trying to teach me through the stresses of parenting?
3. What is the trigger when I "act out"? (i.e. yelling, screaming, sulking, pouting)
4. What can I do to eliminate the "triggers" in my day (being late creates yelling matches with the kids - why not learn to be early?)
5. What are ways in which I act selfishly throughout my day? 
6. Do I insist that everything is done "my way"?
7. Am I communicating to my spouse/children in love (or you could say, speaking the truth in love)?  (shutting them out and acting like everything is fine isn't honest either)

I hope you will open yourself up to Jesus Christ speaking in your life today - make it your prayer that He will help you learn to be more like Him. The first and best place to become more like Christ is in your home, that is the place where you are the most real. That is the place where you will make the most impact on lives around you. Treat your family the best, don't give them the worst. 


And, to give you a good laugh, you gotta watch this - moms, if we only realized how silly we look when we go crazy on our kids... :) enjoy! 


Commercial of mom throwing a temper tantrum :)