DO: Book Club: "Shepherding a Child's Heart" - Chapter 3

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; 

whoever reukes a wicked man incurs abuse. 

Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; 

rebuke a wise man and he will love you. 

Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; 

teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. 

Proverbs 9:7-9

Summary of Chapter 3 

This chapter is so profound, in revealing the differences between a heart that is pointed toward God and a heart that seeks after idols. We as parents, need to understand the difference. We have a filter of God's word (see the scripture above), we can filter a child's (or any person's) response to correction and distinguish what kind of child we are dealing with. 

The thing we need to grasp is that our child will worship something. Either God or idols - and we aren't talking about a wooden idol! There are many more subtle idols that we all fall prey to - idols of the heart which are fear of man, evil desires, lusts and pride, conformity to the world, embracing earthly mindsets, and "setting the affections on things below." Anything, other than God, that rules the heart of the child can be an idol to that child. (note: and with humility, we should also check our own hearts!)

Shaping Influences (these are important but not the end!):

1. You want the structure of your home to furnish the stability and security they need.

2. You want the quality of relationships in your home to reflect the grace of God and the mercy for failing sinners that God's character demonstrates.

3. You want the punishments meted out to be appropriate and to reflect a holy God's view of sin. 

4. You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed. 

5. You want to control the flow of events so that your home is not chaotic, but well-structured. 

6. You want to provide a healthy, constructive atmosphere for your child. 

BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE - as challenging as the list above is...we are still missing the ESSENTIAL ingredient to child-raising. Your number one goal and priority in raising your child is to pray for your child's heart to be Godward...and secondly, to direct your child's heart through all circumstances, toward our loving, forgiving, gracious God. 

I love what the author says about immaturity...

 "Many of us as parents, attribute sin in our child's lives to immaturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authority is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but rather of the idolatry of your child's heart."

 WOW....good stuff!!!

These scriptures have been such a blessing to me as I have been studying them. They haven't just helped me in my parenting, but in all my dealings with people...mostly though, these scriptures have been smacking me around a little...and it has been very good for me! :) I hope you are enjoying your study as well....

STRATEGIC QUESTIONS:

1. What do you discern to be the ways your child is responding to his life experience? Do you see him responding in love for God and faith in God's care and goodness, or do you see him pushed and pulled by other things?

2. If you use Proverbs 9: 7-10 as a grid through which to understand your child's response to the direction and correction he receives from you, would you characterize him as wise or as a mocker?

3. It is far more important to shepherd the response your child has to a bully at school than it is to insure that no one ever bullies him. How would you help your child respond to a bully in a godly manner?

4. What are some shaping influences of life, that are under your control, that need to be changed? (see list above entitled "Shaping Influences")

Read:
Psalm 26:2-3
Psalm 145
Romans 15:4
Ephesians 3:16-21

Study the Old Testament of Joseph and contrast his "shaping influences" and his "Godward Orientation" in shaping his life and his responses to his life. How did he respond to the many injustices done to him?



I hope you have a wonderful week - God bless you on your parenting journey! God give you wisdom and strength as you strive to do your most important job for God, in a God-honoring way.

Kristen